It seems so cliche to say “where has the time gone” but the passage of time is always so strange that I once again find myself amazed that so much has passed.
Today marks one year since my surgery. I went back through my blog and found myself amazed at where I was just 365 days ago. I didn’t even really recognize myself in this picture we took in the parking lot at the hospital before checking in for surgery. I can’t believe I can look back at a picture of myself and think “who is that??”
Seriously, this cannot be me….no wonder I’ve run into a few people that don’t seem to recognize me anymore.
While reading through my blog I looked back at how I struggled to sit in chairs with arms both at the zoo and a fancy restaurant because I was so big. Now I can not only easily fit in nearly any chair, but I can even fold my legs up under myself comfortably and sit. I can cross my legs without needing something to prop my foot against to hold my leg there. I was reminded of all the other things I didn’t fit in such as amusement rides, airplane seats, and rock wall climbing equipment. I’m going back to conquer that zoo chair in about a month and I flew a few weeks ago without any issue. I even recently rode in a tiny train car (kid sized) with my son right in next to me with plenty of space for us together.
I re-read how people judged me at the gym for being there and being fat as if it’s only a place reserved for those already in shape. I’m still perplexed by that one – where on earth was I supposed to be? Hiding away in my basement with Richard Simmons and Jane Fonda? No thanks. Not that home workouts are bad (I love me some fitnessblender.com), but seriously the gym is for EVERYONE to work on their health and fitness. I think it’s comedian Jim Gaffigan who asks in one of his standup routines why fit people are even at the gym because aren’t they already done? Joking aside, even fit people have to stay fit somehow, but they don’t get the right to judge those of us still struggling to get there.
I laughed out loud when I saw I was only eating 300 calories in that first week post-op and was worried whether it was the right amount. Because in stark contrast, I mindlessly ate about 3000 calories the other day. Yes, yes – that’s way more than I should have eaten, but shit happens and we do better the next day. And related to that, I also see how I constantly mentioned I need to work on the mental/emotional part of eating rather than relying on the physical limitation of my sleeve to give me weight loss and prevent weight gain. And clearly, that is still an issue for me given I mindlessly ate anything, let alone 3000 calories.
I re-visited how I was struggling to train for a 5k and how it felt great to finish the race in less than an hour. While sometimes I’m curious how well I could do now with so much less weight to haul the distance, I still maintain I’m all set on running races.
This is 5 years of logging my weight reflected in a single graph. It’s been quite a journey.
I reflected on how in this year I never really hit a hard plateau and that I am very thankful I missed that frustration. Yes, I had a few small ups and downs. Yes, the weight loss slowed much sooner than I wanted. Yet, I generally met a steady loss each week which is a WLS dream come true. And honestly, if I’d lost any faster I’d likely be frustrated with too much loose skin. I have some, but it’s not at all the massive issue I imagined pre-op. So again, very thankful for that outcome. Thankful both that I worked out diligently, helping to prevent and minimize it, and that my skin was forgiving enough to bounce back at least some all on its own.
I also discovered I far surpassed the estimated weight loss amounts predicted by most surgeons. In one year I was predicted to lose 75% of my excess weight or roughly 94.5 pounds. I’m elated to share that I have lost 115.5 pounds of excess weight so far. That’s 91.6% of my excess weight gone. I know I have worked hard for that, especially at the gym, and I’m so proud I have to say it again, 91.6% gone. I never imagined I could even sort of do this well. In my By The Numbers blog entry I talked about how I would be about 30 pounds from my low-end goal at one-year post-op. And I wrote how amazing that would be because I’m so used to being just 30 pounds into my goal, rather than having just 30 pounds left to go! But I’m not 30 pounds away. Instead, I’m 8.6 pounds away as of this morning.
Admittedly, these last 10 pounds have been the hardest to lose with many tiny gains and losses. I was even down to just 6.5 pounds left at one point. So while I look at these 8.6 pounds today, I see both what should be a quick final “lap” to attain my goal and my biggest challenge yet. It’s hard to get myself to stop thinking “well, it’s only 8.6 more, I can eat this ice cream….”, such an idiot.
About 5 years ago
I know that was a lot, but it is a big milestone and I haven’t written in awhile so you got a lot all at once. Plus, you get an extra long stats section as I have prepared comparisons of my weight, body fat, BMI, and my measurements. And, some pictures which are always exciting right? Haha.
But I just want to take a minute thank everyone that has come along with me on this year (plus the extra month pre-op I was blogging). I set out to share this intimate part of my life to both help myself through the process but also to provide a resource and place of support for others. I hope that I’ve at least succeeded in that a little bit. I know both writing my own and reading other WLS blogs has helped me stay on track, work through frustrations, celebrate my successes, work through my failures, and explore the very different experiences others have on the WLS path. I will continue to share as I move through this life long process, but probably not as often. As always, please feel free to reach out with questions, comments, concerns, encouragement, etc.
And I would be remiss to not thank my biggest supporter, my awesome husband, who has been my rock. Giving me both the room to make mistakes or ugly cry over pizza as well as the guidance to push through and make the most of this process. I love you, Joe!
So without further ado, here are my one-year (plus 1 month) stats:
6.23.15 |
7.27.16 |
Difference |
|
| Weight | 269.2 | 153.7 | -115.5 |
| BMI | 44.76 | 24.7 | -20.06 |
| Body Fat % | 46.2 | 28.7 | -17.5 |
| Left Arm | 17 | 12.25 | -4.75 |
| Right Arm | 17 | 12 | -5 |
| Waist | 53.25 | 34.5 | -18.75 |
| Hips | 57.25 | 40 | -17.25 |
| Left Thigh | 31 | 22 | -9 |
| Right Thigh | 30.5 | 22.25 | -8.25 |
| Left Calf | 17.5 | 14.25 | -3.25 |
| Right Calf | 17.5 | 14.5 | -3 |
It was roughly a month before surgery, but 6/23/15 is the first date I weighed, measured, and took pictures, so I started at that point. I should note, that my weight actually went up to 270.4 and then back down to 260.4 between 6/23 and surgery, but the 6/23 stats are the original stats from my Before and After page so I stuck with those. That’s a total of 69.25 inches lost over my entire body, mostly from my waist and hips. Even though I find it a useless measure, it is nice to see my BMI in the “normal weight” range instead of the “morbid obesity” range. Of course “normal” is a total joke given the average person is in the “obesity” range.
You can also hit up the Before and After page for additional pics sans shirt.
So here I am, one year later with only the regret that I didn’t do this sooner. I wasted so much time yoyoing up and down, spending hours at the gym, $$$$ on diet programs and personal trainers. Always to fail. I wasted so much time being held back by my weight – physically, emotionally, and mentally. I’m still working on the emotional and mental parts of this, but I’m so thrilled to say I am no longer bound by “I’m too fat to do that.” Now I’m off to find some new adventures and conquer some new challenges.
-S
268reasonswhy 